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The Bill Simmons Podcast
The Ringer Friday, September 25, 2026 127 min 3 minutes Deletes in 21 days

The Buffalo Curse, a Mega-Mailbag, QB Roulette, and Week 3 Picks With Joe House and Tom Pelissero

The Bill Simmons Podcast delivers a loose mailbag full of running bits before Tom Pelissero breaks down real QB movement across the league ahead of Week 3.

Key takeaways

  • Bill and Joe House riff through listener questions rather than breaking news, rebranding Deshaun Watson "Deshaun of the Dead" after his surprisingly sharp second half against Tampa, and debating whether Caleb Williams' dramatic cart exit (he may play Monday) has replaced Paul Pierce's wheelchair moment as the league's gold standard for injury theater.
  • A running "crockpot seat" bit gets applied to Jim Harbaugh, with House arguing Harbaugh is more likely to hit an "eject button" and bail before any seat actually gets hot, especially with the Chargers sitting 0-2 heading into a brutal stretch against Buffalo and Seattle.
  • Pelissero lays out the Giants' quarterback math: Jameis Winston starts over Jaxson Dart, but New York will likely add a veteran arm regardless, and names like Kirk Cousins (movable via a contract quirk giving the Raiders an exclusive trade/cut window next March), J.J. McCarthy, and Mac Jones as the realistic trade-market options if a starter goes down elsewhere.
  • Justin Herbert's trade value gets a real number attached: Pelissero pegs it at three-plus first-round picks given the Deshaun Watson precedent, where four teams offered major draft capital for a quarterback facing dozens of civil allegations, though a no-trade clause and his fiancée's LA ties make a move unlikely.
  • Joey Porter Jr.'s Pittsburgh contract standoff is framed as the market's most obvious buy-low trade chip, with Pelissero floating Jerry Jones and the Cowboys as a sneaky fit and estimating a second-round pick as the likely price.
  • The mailbag surfaces sharper comps than usual: Herbert gets tagged "Justin's second cousins" for matching Kirk Cousins' per-17-game stats almost exactly, and Jalen Hurts is nominated as the NFL's answer to Jaylen Brown—a player whose results (a title) outrun what the underlying numbers suggest he should be doing.

Notable moments

  • "I'd like to invite the Red Sox to eat a fat dick"; a resurfaced House quote from a year-old episode inspires a new proposed segment, the "Eat a Fat Dick" invitational, with Baker Mayfield and the Buccaneers as Bill's inaugural nominee.
  • The Bill Russell "Black Shadow" SNL sketch gets ranked ahead of Michael Jordan's hosting stint, with Bill placing The Rock first, Russell second, Peyton Manning third, and Joe Montana fourth on the all-time athlete-host list.
  • A listener's exhaustive rundown of six decades of Buffalo sports heartbreak (wide right, the skate in the crease, the Music City Miracle, four straight Super Bowl losses) prompts Bill to argue Josh Allen has the most "curse removal potential" of any athlete in sports.
  • Pelissero reveals the Deshaun Watson trade backstory in more detail: five teams were actively bidding for him in 2022 despite the pending allegations, underscoring how desperate teams get for quarterbacks.
  • On Justin Herbert's leadership questions, Pelissero says sources dismissed any locker-room unrest over his OTA absence, unlike the awkward Aaron Rodgers Egypt saga.
  • Bill and House both independently land on the Jaguars minus the points over the Patriots, citing Drake Maye's shaky footwork and New England's injury-thinned receiver corps.
  • Bill circles back to bet the Buccaneers again despite losing with them two straight weeks, calling their Week 3 game against Minnesota essentially a must-win or bust-it-up scenario for Todd Bowles' job.

The transcript cuts off mid-way through the Week 3 picks segment, so the full slate of picks and the closing discussion aren't included here.

Time saved: 2 hours, 5 minutes.

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