Apex Josh Allen, the Goofy NFC North, Week 2 Picks, and Bill’s Breakup Letter to the Clippers | With Tom Pelissero and Joe House

Key takeaways

• Josh Allen is playing at a historic level: he's had two rushing and two passing touchdowns in a game 10 times in his career (the next closest player has four), he's the highest fantasy scorer through two weeks since 2000, and he's halfway to Emmitt Smith's career rushing touchdown record at only 30 years old. Pelissero argues Allen is now clearly the best player in football, not just the best quarterback, because no one else can hurt defenses both running and throwing the way he does.
• Buffalo's 41-31 win over Detroit came despite a secondary decimated by injuries (Branch, Joseph, DJ Reed all out or hurt), suggesting Joe Brady's offensive identity under Sean McDermott has become "score more than the other team" rather than relying on defense—a philosophy that makes sense with a generational quarterback but raises questions about whether it's sustainable for 17 games.
• The Chargers were the most alarming team of week one: Pelissero says they didn't just look flat, they looked genuinely slow and outmatched by a rebuilding Arizona team, with a collapsing offensive line and a hobbled Justin Herbert. With Ladd McConkey out again for the Raiders rematch, Pelissero suggests a loss there would mean legitimate hot-seat conversations for Jim Harbaugh, especially given his repeated public comments calling Herbert a future all-time great.
• Front offices are viewing the entire first month as an identity-finding period because of the loss of real preseason reps; coaches like Tomlin, Belichick, and McCarthy have historically had much better records from October on than in September, and that gap has widened.
• Bill reads his full, detailed letter to the Clippers demanding release from his five-year season ticket commitment, arguing the team fraudulently induced fans into long-term deals while secretly violating cap rules with Kawhi Leonard, only for Kawhi to now be gleefully "home" with Toronto as if nothing happened. Joe House floats real legal theories (fraudulent inducement) and predicts class-action interest.
• In the picks segment, both hosts land on Houston -2.5 over Cincinnati, and diverge on Denver (House takes Broncos -2.5), Green Bay-Jets (Bill takes Jets +3.5 in the rain), and Miami-San Francisco (House takes Niners -13.5), while both flag the Buccaneers-Jaguars and Eagles-Titans games as tease candidates given shaky offensive lines and quarterback play around the league.

Notable moments

• "He's clearly the best player in the league now."; Pelissero on Josh Allen after the Thursday night blowout.
• Bill on Allen: "It's Joe Burrow with Josh Allen. It's like, do I even bother trying to get in his way or should I just become shrapnel here?"
• Pelissero on the Chargers: "This was like Arizona kind of kicked the Chargers' ass," calling it his one "do-over" pick from week one.
• Bill's Clippers letter: "The Clippers broke their contracts with fans and season ticket holders, so we would like to break ours."
• House: "There is no chance... that is an absolute lock of the century. Kawhi Leonard won't play" when Toronto visits the Clippers.
• On Deshaun Watson: "This is our last chance to bet against this guy... I don't think we'll ever see him quarterback another team after this week."
• Ken from Oakdale's "Browns Hog Day" bit; the Browns have thrown a week-one interception in 18 of the last 18 seasons.
• House on Rudy Gobert vs. Chet Holmgren as basketball's "nerd king," relaying Kirk Goldsberry's text making the case for Holmgren.

Time saved: 1 hour, 55 minutes.