An Absolutely Horrific Patriots Loss, the Rams-49ers Travel Bowl, and Hottest Takes With Craig Horlbeck, Danny Heifetz, and Danny Kelly

Key takeaways

• The Patriots blew a winnable Week 1 game in Seattle, and the panel pins it on Drake May, who threw three interceptions after a near-flawless deep-ball season in 2025. Every deep throw was underthrown, his feet looked unset, and the final pick, a forced jump ball to Mac Hollins with a field goal available to force overtime, was called the worst throw of his career. AJ Brown left with a right-foot boot, deepening a receiving corps that now leans on Pop Douglas and Hollins again.
• Mike Vrabel coached scared. On third and five near midfield before halftime, up 7-0, New England ran a draw and punted, betting Drew Locke would make mistakes rather than attacking. The hosts argue that passivity let a reeling Seahawks team back into the game while the crowd was dead.
• Seattle's defense and Mike McDonald drew the loudest praise. Byron Murphy, Leonard Williams, and Derek Hall pressured May late, and practice-squad-level defensive backs Rodney Thomas, Nehemiah Pritchett, and Josh Jobe made plays despite missing starters. The panel calls McDonald the best coach in the league and says Drew Locke, a gunslinger in the Jameis Winston mold, plays better chasing a deficit than protecting a lead.
• Darnold's hip injury on the fifth offensive snap is inconclusive after a CT scan, with an MRI pending, but the group expects him back this season. They argue Seattle can survive on Locke for stretches given the coaching, defense, JSN, Jaxon Smith-Njigba, and rookie back Jadarian Price, who flashed burst on wide-zone runs.
• Fantasy football took heavy damage. Brock Bowers announced meniscus surgery roughly an hour after Raiders coach Clint Kubiak told reporters everyone looked ready, and Heifetz notes Bowers and AJ Brown were his two most-hyped picks. The panel suggests holding drafts after Week 1 since early games still play like preseason.
• The Rams-49ers game in Australia is a coin flip because the Rams flew in and out while the 49ers arrived early. The consensus bet is San Francisco to cover roughly three and a half points, with the caveat that the Rams tested the theory by sending two scouts, one for eight days and one for just 30 hours.

Notable moments

• Cousin Sal's absent joke lands anyway: a Netflix poll showed 88 percent want May renamed "Drake Maybe," and Simmons vows revenge involving Rosie O'Donnell guest-hosting.
• Heifetz frames the loss as the Super Bowl hangover curse passing from the Patriots to the Seahawks like a horror movie, plus the buried Super Bowl-loss depression flooding back.
• Chris Collinsworth called roughly seven plays before they happened, including the fourth-and-one JSN touchdown and May's in-breakers to Hollins; the group does Collinsworth impressions.
• Craig notes Will Campbell drew back-to-back holding penalties right after Collinsworth praised him.
• Simmons describes watching Darnold walk off while simultaneously tracking his daughter's rain-soaked soccer game and a Red Sox comeback, calling it the peak of his NFL season.
• Mike Tomlin's NBC debut gets panned for over-produced "Gen Z-ification," TikTok dances, a suit instead of a hoodie, and calling John Harbaugh "Harbs."
• Craig's hottest take that magicians should be the most famous people alive wins the segment, tied to the old David Blaine celebrity-reaction special and the vanished space shuttle trick.
• Simmons pitches banning dogs from hotels, grocery stores, planes, and restaurants; a Netflix poll backs him at 67 percent.
• Craig recounts a woman on a flight handing him her eight-pound chihuahua "for 20 seconds," then sleeping for three hours while a stranger called him a saint.
• Simmons previews the Ringer 107 picks contest with House and predicts the Giants lose Sunday night, citing Dak Prescott's dominance over New York.

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