The 49ers Crush the Jet-Lag Bowl, Rams Overreactions, Bills-Texans, and Week 1 NFL Picks With Joe House

Key takeaways

• The 49ers beat the Rams 27-7 in Melbourne, and Simmons argues the sleep-and-travel storyline was a distraction from simple football: San Francisco's stars (Fred Warner, Nick Bosa, Trent Williams, Brock Purdy, McCaffrey) all showed up while the Rams' supposed super team (built with three first-round picks traded for Miles Garrett and Jared Verse) looked flat, with Garrett finishing with zero tackles and zero pressures.
• A key fourth-down sequence defined the game: with the score 17-7, the Rams ran a QB sneak with 38-year-old Matthew Stafford instead of trusting their offense after a stopped third-down play; it got stuffed, and Shanahan answered with a 99-yard scoring drive that effectively ended it.
• Both hosts agree the Rams' preseason Super Bowl hype (they'd been 5-1, now 6-1) was overblown, calling them a top-heavy team that needs everything to break right health-wise, especially with Matthew Stafford looking "washed" (nine completions through three quarters) and a historically bad Rams special teams unit surrendering a big Debo Samuel kickoff return.
• Simmons and House built their Ringer 107 Week 1 picks around fading Deshaun Watson (Jaguars -2.5) and jumping on the Texans as a tease leg (+7.5) versus Buffalo, citing Houston's top-tier defense and Josh Allen's historic struggles against them (1-4 lifetime, 0-4 in Houston).
• Other notable picks: Cowboys -2.5 over the Giants (both hosts piggybacked this one, questioning Matt Nagy's offensive creativity with Jackson Dart), Jets straight-up over Titans (Tennessee is 1-8 ATS as a favorite over three seasons), Lions teased down to -0.5 over the Saints, and a money-line parlay of Steelers, Eagles, Chargers, and UCLA football at +192.
• Simmons dissects the Patriots' ugly Week 1 loss to Seattle, blaming an overly conservative game plan (refusing to attack Seattle's young corners with AJ Brown, over-relying on a failed run game) rather than pure talent gap, while noting Drake Maye's designed runs were the one weapon Seattle couldn't defend.

Notable moments

• "Thank you to the Los Angeles Rams for taking Drake May off the hook"—Simmons opens by noting the Rams' loss shifted a day of negative media attention away from the Patriots' struggling rookie QB.
• "F them boys... he put a shrimp on the Barbie"; House and Simmons riff on Kyle Shanahan's dominant offensive game plan in Australia.
• Simmons calls the QB sneak decision "inexplicable," questioning why the Rams risked a banged-up Stafford on a play he's historically bad at.
• House explains his "Raheem rule" origin story: a friend who complains about locking in picks early gets his own new flexible pick rule, then doesn't even use it.
• "It's insulting to the 49ers... this is a good football team," Simmons says, pushing back hard on the sleep-science narrative dominating coverage.
• House on the Jets: "They gave us the indication they were going to be in rebuilding mode, and then they went out in the offseason and got a bunch of talent."
• Simmons goes on an extended rant about the US Open scheduling Alcaraz-Shelton after 11 p.m. ET, calling it "batshit crazy" for a marquee match featuring an American star during a rare open era in men's tennis.
• The hosts jokingly propose a "farewell ceremony" for their last chances to bet against Deshaun Watson before his rookie contract window with Cleveland closes.

Time saved: 1 hour, 20 minutes.